So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
