TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
