My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
