Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
