I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize