I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
