So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
