I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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