you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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