Swine flu. Run for my life!
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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