i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
