I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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