i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
