I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
