So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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