brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Non-Jews are for practice
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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