The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
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