The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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