Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
