My hair reeks of homosexuality.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
