sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I love having hate sex.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
