I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
