I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
