I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
