My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I believe in your delicious
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
