it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
