I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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