yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
