I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
