It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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