I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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