is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
