"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
