If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
