I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
