Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
You smell like stripper and shame
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
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I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
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I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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