I want to stick my p in your. b.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
