you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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