Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
