last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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