I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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