I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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