biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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