You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Reggie can tackle my bush.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
