brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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