I would go down on you faster than GM stock
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Your penis caused this!
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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