The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
