saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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