My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
