She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
