Walk of Shame today included voting.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Come on in and take your pants off
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
