drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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