KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
