That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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