im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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