I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
