"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
