I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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