Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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