Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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