She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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